6 months since..

Yes, I've been blogging for 6 months now! This means that Mac has been gone for 6 months too.. Somehow, he's still very dear to my heart & no matter how much I love Lan-Lan, she can never replace that void.

So strange. Just wondering how I can become so attached to an animal. It was really unconditional love given as I felt so responsible for him since I was the one who chose to adopt him. I think my sense of responsibility is just too overwhelming so much so that I feel so guilty most of the time. Hahaha..

I feel exceptionally depress today. Received an email today on "centre of the bible". Was told that the "centre of the bible" is Psalms 118:8 which says, "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man." How true.. But somehow I also feel that the Lord is very far away & don't seem to be able to reach Him anymore..

Sigh! Something is very wrong now..

Looking from another angle..

Ya, feel like I'm just rotting.. Not that there aren't things to keep me occupied but seems that I no longer have the drive & motivation to do anything :(

Yes, I'm kind of worried. If I carry on being that way, then likely I'll simply desiccate & eventually disintegrate..

Whichever way it goes, I'll just need to get to a job soon. But I need one which will "revive" my passion for life. How??

Can someone say a little prayer for me? Please??

Joke of the day..

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"

Pastor's regular Saturday sms..

Your future is shaped by what you choose today.

A Friend..

VCR broke down!

Last Sunday, one of the VCRs broke down! Sigh! As I changed tape for Ch U, the tape got jammed inside the set. So didn't manage to record that 8-hr session :(

Had to call Toh to come to my place to fix the problem before the next weekend comes along. He came on Tuesday night after work. Seems he's doing quite well in his new job. His company values his expertise & is planning to send him for a one-year course. Hallelujah! Really, God is good :)

I have expired!

Yes. I feel like I've expired!! I'm way past my "shelf life"..

After having been made use of for so many decades, I'm no longer of use to anyone now. So I'm just being chucked aside because those who used to need me no longer need me anymore :(

A Mouse Story ..

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer & his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked & scratched, raised her head & said, "Mr Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The mouse turned to the pig & told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers." The mouse turned to the cow & said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose." So, the mouse returned to the house, head down & dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap - alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital & she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends & neighbours came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem & think it doesn't concern you, remember - When one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another & make an extra effort to encourage one another.

REMEMBER:
EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY;
OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend.

~from a forwarded email~

Wanna be an actress?

Ya, wanna be one? Wahahaha..

Did I mention that some time during my sister's stay in the hospital, I was approached by this fat man (who I've seen on TV) as to whether I'd like to film in his movie?! Hahaha..

I laughed my heart out. Sooo funny. He then said precisely he was looking for someone like me with my kind of laughter. Woahahaha.. Downright funny, right?

He was with another man & a woman, sitting at a table at the hawkers' centre & called out for me as I was there buying food for my mummy one evening. Said they're now doing a movie around TP area & also shooting another movie in Perth at that moment. Asked if I was interested to join them. Said that he is the director & also boasted that he is the best "bone-setter" in Singapore. Gave me a brochure on some therapy thingy & said to call them if I'm interested to do some acting. Haiz.. Really suspicious characters lor..

I think this is really the greatest joke of the year :)

Main Theme of 如果·爱 (Jacky Cheung)

Powered by Castpost

Perhaps Love 如果·爱

每个人都想明白
谁是自己生命不该错过的真爱
特别在午夜醒来更是会感慨
心动埋怨还有不能释怀
都是因为你触碰了爱
如果这就是爱
再转身就该勇敢留下来
就算受伤就算流泪
都是生命里温柔灌溉
哦爱在回忆里总是那么明白
困惑的心流过的泪
还有数不清黑夜等待
如果这就是爱
如果你当时明白
后来的生命里是快乐还是悲哀
特别在夜深人静时想起未来
是否能平静不会想现在
只是因为你拥有了爱
如果这就是爱
再转身就该勇敢留下来
就算受伤
就算流泪
都是生命里温柔灌溉
哦爱在回忆里总是那么明白
困惑的心
流过的泪
还有数不清黑夜等待
如果这就是爱
如果这就是爱

Fatique..

Healthwise I'm really not doing that well. My ankles are swollen. Left side more swollen than right. Heart is also beating very fast whenever I walk a little faster, climb the stairs or do simple chores. Niece says it's because my heart is unable to keep up with my weight! Hmmm..

Don't know why I'm so tired but couldn't wake up this morning at all! Only got out of bed at 11.30am! Xiao liao.. Feel like throwing up! How to go to Kota Kinabalu today leh?? Maybe got to postpone to tomorrow lor. Sigh!

dArLinG niECe

Yes, she finally came to visit us yesterday after the long break! Since her maternal grandma passed away, we've not seen her. Seems that the granddad's not taking his wife's death too well, so they all need to take turns to watch over him. Now that the situation's slightly more stablized, she's starting to look for a job again so she's been going for interviews. Most of the time she's successful except that the terms of employment are usually not too attractive.

Mum was elated to see her yesterday. I'll be meeting up with her today.. after her interview this afternoon.

Today's weather..

Wow! Seems that today is SUPER HOT! Supposed to be 32°C but "feels like 39"!! UV index is 9 & that's supposed to be VERY HIGH! Haiz.. Like that how to get out of the house? #@*&%#)%@0?$#@%.. Hahaha.. Me made of sugar & spice & all things nice mah.. Will melt one leh :(

S O S

H E L P !

Somehow, I sensed that my lap-top's going to crash any moment soon!!!!!!! I've just got this very strong hunch..

What to do now? I stupidly downloaded this so-called latest version of internet explorer & now my lap-top is functioning "slowest ever" :( & seems to "hang" forever >:(

Can someone help me??!!!!!!!!
Think I need to go to Kota Kinabalu real soon.. like tomorrow.. Sigh!

:(

One of my animations got disabled. Simply don't understand why & how it happened :(

Now need to replace it with something else.. But really like the dancing pig leh.. Sigh..

Story-time..

Wisdom Of The Wise Man (I)

There was a young man going out of the village to the neighbouring village. As he reached the village landmark stone, he spotted the wise old man meditating.

So he asked "Mr Senior, how long does it take for me to get to the neighbouring village. The wise old man opened up his eyes and kept quiet. So the young man asked again, "Mr Senior could you please tell me how long does it take for me to get to the neighbouring village?"

Once again, the wise old man kept quiet. The young man asked again with frustration. "Please tell me how long does it take to get to the neighbouring village. I am in a hurry!" However, the wise old man refused to answer.

This time the young man got really very angry and started to walk towards the neighbouring village. After 5 steps, suddenly, the wise old man answered, "Young man, it will take you about 5 to 6 hours."

So, the young man got very curious and asked the wise old man, "Why did you refuse to answer me the first 3 times?"

The wise old man answered, "How do I know how long you'll take if I do not know how fast you can walk? So how can I answer you before you started walking?"

So my friends, whenever you need to give advice to your friends please get to know their ability before you offer your advice to ensure that the advice you give will be a helpful one.

~by Mr Khoo Chong Kok~
~http://www.heartnsoulezine.com/stories/stories2.html~

I'm a good girl, I am!

Yup, today very good girl.. DID HOUSEWORK!! Have not done that for a long long long time. Think I over-did it! Now my entire body aches like crazy! Plus both my arms feel extremely sore.. especially my left arm! Shoulders too.. pain-pain.. Can imagine how tired I am. I actually took a short nap from 7-8pm! Shocking isn't it? A rare happening.. Hahaha..

Do Not Covet Dreams Of Others :)

Hold Fast To Your Own Dream
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Never never give up” ~ Napoleon

Richard and Tony were very close friends since childhood days. They shared almost anything.
Since, they started working, they have not met each other for about a year. This summer holidays, they got together at Hawaii Beach.
Richard told Tony “Yesterday, I dreamt that my boss gave me 10,000 pineapples.”
Tony said “WOW! That's wonderful! Can I have 5,000 pineapples then?”
Richard shook his head and said “No.”
So Tony asked “What about 1,000 pineapples?”
Richard said again “No.”
Tony got very angry and raised his voice “How about giving me just ONE?”
Richard answered firmly “No.”
Tony said “Since when you became so petty?”
Richard said patiently “You are not the buddy I used to know. Now you do not even put effort to dream on you own. "

* Dear friends, we often used to be full of dreams in our earlier part of our life. Some of us no longer put an effort to pursuit our dream. Life is always full of challenges. Hold fast to your dream no matter how big it is. All the great achievements in mankind is made possible only if we dare to dream.

~by Mr Foo How Kean~
~http://www.heartnsoulezine.com/stories/stories1.html~

Tsunami again! So sad :(

Baby Tory needs HELP..

The other day someone forwarded an email to me. She knows that I'm usually quite "serious" about such forwarded emails - those that ask for "help", so she mentioned that this particular email could be genuine. Found out that the baby mentioned in the email was born in April this year with multiple heart problems. He's from Batam. Seems that his case was highlighted in the New Paper some time in May.

This is baby Tory when he was staying at KKH a couple of months back.

Called the mobile number given in the email & spoke to the baby's uncle - Mr Ong. Tory is his wife's nephew. They are Indonesians but Mr Ong is a Singaporean. He wanted to use his medisave for Tory's medical bills but hospital rejected his application citing "relationship too distant" as the reason. Social welfare is also unable to help as baby is non-Sngaporean.

Tory has a hole in his heart + 2 main blood vessels in his heart are "messed up". This round, they have incurred more than S$55,000 in medical/hospitalization bills. His condition is stabilized for now so he's been discharged. The family has gone back to Batam as costs of living is cheaper. When baby is stronger for his operation, they'll need to send him in for a major heart surgery which will cost them more money, something which his parents can ill-afford. That's why they are trying to rally help from the public.

Those who wish to help them can contact Mr Ong directly. If you are worried that your contribution will be misused, I believe you can issue your cheques directly to KKH. Please verify all information you need with Mr Ong directly. You can help this family in every small way possible. I'm sure they'll be very thankful.

Today..

Found some energy today so I bathed my baby LanLan. She's still my beloved smelly cat :)

Then met girlfriend at Suntec Convention Centre as she requested that I go help her with some translation at her direct-marketing training. Sigh.. It's one of those things again lah.. Make me go listen to "health talks"! Sigh.. Got "tricked" again.. How come I jz don't learn?? I wonder..

此影不再。。

Today's sms from pastor..

Ability opens the door to success. Faithfulness keeps you inside.

Time to..

snore...

Thurs & Fri..

Thurs: Still suffering from my food poisoning so was dizzy dizzy & weak but had to bring mother to AH for her check-up. Doc couldn't understand why her BP fluctuates so did an ECG on her cz he suspects that her heartbeat is irregular. It's confirmed to be so. Sigh! So for now, I'll have to monitor her daily BP & bring her back for review in 4 weeks' time. He also suggested giving her a MRI to check her bone density level which I told him to defer to a later date.

Fri: Recovered from my diarrhea but still "tao-gong-gong".. But still went out today to do errands. Went to HDB Hub, PUB Building, Allson Hotel & Revenue House.

Suddenly feel like singing Carole King's song..
I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down
I feel my heart start to trembling
Whenever you're around..

Do you know the bride & groom?

Geriatric Doctors

I think these doctors are very nice & patient human beings. They really have a heart of gold cz they treat feeble old folks every day. They really mz have lots patience talking to these aged folks.. 3 cheers to them for having all the patience in the world.. So far, both doctors from the Geriatric Clinic who treated my mummy are really fantastic doctors. They treat all their patients with much care & respect. So soft-spoken & polite. It really gives them a great sense of comfort & assurance. Another 3 cheers to them for being such great doctors!

They are so different from some other doctors of other faculties whom I've encountered when I bring mummy for her other check-ups. Most of them seem very unapproachable & detached. Many don't even look you in the eye when they speak to you. They don't really bother "communicate". Yes, they are still polite & courteous but it's really a far cry from the geriatric ones.

Of cz this is only my personal experience & opinion.. Cheers!

Should I start a new blog?

I started this blog on Jan 31, 2006. By the end of this month, it will be exactly 6 months. I have an average of about 3-4 postings each day so right now this blog has about 670-680 postings. I am contemplating on stopping this blog by end July & start a new one cz I think this one is a little overloaded. Should I? Hmmm.. I wonder..

Hear ye.. Hear ye..

Officially, my blog is now my emotional dumping ground. Yes, that's the whole purpose of having this blog..

My postings are all haphazardly done.. a clear representation of how my heart functions.. messy.. not much brainworks done here..

It started off as a site for me to pour out my woes for the passing of Mac.. Then I went on with all my whinings on sleeplessness & joblessness.. Ocassionally I'll reminisce my past.. It's also a place for me to hang on to my faith.. Sometimes, it's just a journal for my daily activites. Very often, I'll put up postings related to the entertainment arena, especially on TVB stars as I'm really a movie & TV buff. I love to post pictures, more so for animated ones, because I think they speak volumes.. & photos are also treasured as they capture great moments at memorable time & place.

I blog rather often so now it has almost become a daily affair, like a diary.. a very candid one. Generally, I think it records my moods directly & indirectly. Each posting usually starts with a thought which gets translated into a feeling, & a posting is born!

At times I'll whine a little, grouch a little, just to let off some steam.. but, honestly, I'd rather share my joy & happiness, if there's any.. That's why I always emphasize that we must all learn to "count our blessings", regardless..

In short, blogging has become an outlet for me to unwind.

Happy Family: Jamie Chik & Miu Kiu Wai

Now Playing: In a Mood of Love

<bgsound src="http://www.hddweb.com/68645/02.Wma" >

棕色的天才白痴梦。。

An acquaintance recommended this link to me. I liked it.

The clip was subtitled with much wit. Fancy putting the "chocolate" guy as Brown & Li as The Authority. Aptly "casted".

Pls enjoy it in silence..

If you can't activate this, check out from this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQxU3K-w0bU

"Bad luck" or what!??

I have a few clients on hand now but am truly unable to find any match for them! How leh?? Mz pray "harder" & "work" harder.. Otherwise will really end up "eating flour" liao :(

I mz not give up.. NEVER SAY DIE.. 加油，woman!

Today..

1. Still having diarrhea.. Think I'm suffering from food poisoning. Don't know what "poisonous food" I took last night!
2. Impossible but it happened. Think I twisted my left foot last night while sleeping. Hahaha.. Probably pulled a nerve or something. Now limping around..
3. Some more got to bring mummy to her geriatric doctor this afternoon at AH. Sigh! Wonder if I can survive it.. hohoho..
4. Today's sms: "If you belong to the Lord, reverence Him; for everyone who does this has everything he needs." Really? Well, guess it's a timely reminder from the Lord :)
5. Today's verse-of-the-day: "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." <1 John 1:7> Well, guess I really lack proper "fellowship" :(
6. "calm down, calm down.." "wake up! wake up!" "buck up, buck up.."
7. Meow!

Puzzled..

Do not understand why I'm feeling so ill. Head spinning, heart thumping, nausea, body aches, muscles spasms, plus suddenly hit by "diarrhea".. Simply extremely out-of-sorts.

Was trying to analyse where lies the fault but.. Me not a very logical, so.. hehehe..

Wonder if it could be any of the following:

1. Over-stretched during these past few weeks over "sister-saga" so now even when I try to relax, I'm unable to. My mind & muscles are still too tensed up. It's like a rubber band being stretched to the maximum limit. It'll either snap or lose its elasticity. Dwoinn..

2. Stress has caused my BP level to rise so now am affected by the high BP & heart's over-strained so its getting weaker. Thus it needs to "pump harder" in order to enable the body to "function" properly. That's why I keep hearing my heart beating very hard & fast. Thump, thump, thump, thump thump, thump, thump..

3. I may not be suffering from higher BP but it shot up "accidentally" due to recent situation. Hence the increased dosage prescribed by the doctor may not actually be suitable for me; thus causing these "sickly" symptons/side-effects!

4. Perhaps I've inhaled too much cat fur & dust-mites!

5. I may be a victim of depression :(

Well, whatever.. Jz know that I keep feeling very dizzy.. Even when I'm sitting, I feel like I'm "floating".. When I walk, haha, I don't seem to be able to walk in a straight line.. Sigh! Hope to get over this soon.. Whatever the cause may be, jz depart from my life..

My health condition..

我终于恍然大悟了！ 原来，我最近经时常感到头晕心跳，是因为这些日子的我，所承受的压力实在是太大了。。 加上身体肥胖，高血压，年纪也不小了，所以我敢肯定，我的心，现在是不够力的！

所以每当我感到忧愁，担心，害怕，或要多走一点路，或多做一点家务，我的心都会跳得很快，很大力；也会浑身发痛，很不舒服，同时会头晕晕，感到身体轻飘飘。。 哈哈哈!

我该怎么办呢？？ 叹。。。

Miracle in my sister's life..

Sis jz called to share with me what's happened..

Saturday, she had 5 New Zealand ladies who went to her shop. They were very happy when they heard Christian worship & praise songs being played in a hotel souvenir shop. They told her that they'd like to go for worship on Sunday so sis recommended the churches around the hotel for their convenience.

However, they insisted that they want to follow her to church instead. So she met up with them on Sunday in front of the hotel & brought them to church by bus. Bus-stop's supposed to be rather far away from worship premise but they had a wonderful bus driver who agreed to stop them right in front of the building (no bus-stop!) so they needn't walk the distance :) Fantastic, right?

Sis hadn't attended church for 3 weeks since her hospitalization. Well.. During service, Pastor John said that someone in the congregation has lost her sense of tastes & he would like to pray for her. Sis immediately knew she was the one. Amazing, right?

After service, she introduced the 5 ladies to pastor & they had fellowship. Some members in the "ladies' group" were asking what's happened to her as she had missed a few of their meetings. Strange that none bothered to contact her too, right? Haha..

The ladies happily thanked my sister & they went for lunch together. One of them told my sis that she had a vision for her & wanted to pray for her. Sis arranged to meet them on Monday for prayers.

They met up just now & the ladies told her that God has sent them to her because of her fast. That lady told sis many things in sis's life (sis was shocked) that God has revealed to her & they prayed for deliverance & breakthrough for her. Sis says these 5 ladies are angels sent by God to bless her. Very happy for her.

Just thinking.. God really works in mysterious ways. No Christians in Singapore meh? Local church members nowhere to be found & He got to send 5 New Zealanders all the way from New Zealand to minister to sis. Haha.. Well, never limit God.. He transcends all.. Praise God!

Perhaps Love

Jz watched the long-awaited "Perhaps Love" on cable TV Ch 61. Storyline's a little disappointing cz expectation was high. Jacky's singing could've been better, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching Takeshi Kaneshiro & Zhou Xun. The former's voice is really mesmerizing. Also see a lot of "greens" when I browsed through the movie pix. Think it's Christopher Doyle's doing..

Ugly..

As I was practically stuck in the shop for the past 1-2 weeks, I had the opportunity to read up on more news..

Many news articles covered news on the "ugly" Singaporean.. Seems that the ugly-Singaporean-syndrome is still very prevalent, & growing strong too..

Are we as Singaporeans proud of such negative reports? I hope not. Can we improve on our social etiquette? I sincerely think we can.. Jz put in a little more effort to be more considerate & try to put yourself in the other person's shoes..

That woman who killed herself & her kids on the rails..

Read from the papers on this piece of news. So sad. Why should she resort to suicide & homicide? Seems none saw any imminent possibility of her making good that threat she made to her husband. No one saw those tell-tale signs!

Just wondering if there had been some kind of help or counselling rendered to this family, would this tragedy have taken place? 3 good lives wasted, just like that!!

The columnist from the paper quoted one old Malay saying -
Better to be able to read the early signs than to have to..
"suddenly find fault with a germ in the far distance when an elephant is before your eyes!"

How do we as the general public help in such cases? Feel so helpless towards such things. It's just sad sad news..

锦瑟 - One of my favourite poems

锦瑟无端五十弦，一弦一柱思华年。
庄生晓梦迷蝴喋，望帝春心托杜鹃。
沧海月明珠有泪，蓝田日暖玉生烟。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。

~李商隐~

心境写照。。

自生自灭成何事，能逐东风作雨无。

An artist is born!

Sigh..

Brother's in-laws are coming-a-visiting now! Everything's in a mess & everyone's ill! Aiya.. Don't care liao lah..

Pastor's Sat sms

"Walking in positive agreement is walking into possibilities & prosperity."

Yucks!

Simply couldn't wake up & plain forgot that I need to do RECORDING! Aarrrgghhhhh..

Pining on a glimpse of hope..

My Favourite Song..

God Will Make A Way

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

It's my turn.. to 病倒！

The Alphabet Song

Words and original music: Buddy Kaye, Fred Wise and Sidney Lippman

A ~ You're adorable...
B ~ You're so beautiful...
C ~ You're a cutie full of charms...
D ~ You're a darling and...
E ~ You're exciting...
F ~ You're a feather in my arms...
G ~ You look good to me...
H ~ You're so heavenly...
I ~ You're the one I idolize...
J ~ We're like Jack and Jill...
K ~ You're so kiss-able...
L ~ Is the love-light in your eyes...
M, N, O, P...
I could go on all day...
Q, R, S, T...
Alphabetically speaking you're OK!
U ~ Made my life complete...
V ~ Means you're very sweet...
W, X, Y, Z...
It's fun to wander through
The alphabet with you
To tell you what you mean to me!

她又病倒了！

She got home around 10+, said she feels very cold & had been shivering in the shop the whole day. Then she spilt the whole packet of guave juice she bought & I had to mop the floor! 要我这个不做家务的人来抹地！ 苦啊！ Sigh! Then she said she had no appetite to eat anything & I think she's running a temperature again! 天啊！难道明天我又要到店里去帮忙吗？我要哭了！

得闲死吾得闲病！

寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚。。。

~李清照《醉花阴》

Reminisce..

Alas! My happiness is but shortlived..

Just as I was so elated to be "set free", sister said she may not be able to sustain through the entire day today :(

I "pengsan" much much liao.. Dizziness level immediately shot up!

Sigh of Relief!

Phew! Finally sis is back at work. In fact she went back yesterday but was rather late when she left the house. Plus she really didn't look too good, so I was afraid that she'll have a relapse! I was in & out of shop yesterday several times in case she's not well enough to carry on.. Praise God she coped.

So this morning when I heard her leaving the house so early, my excitement was "indescribable" :)

The happy thing is - My 3 long weeks of ordeal is finally OVER!
(I hope)

The sad thing is - After I've "dong" for so long, I think with her recovery, my "guard" is now down & I've taken ill :( Started feeling very weak, dizzy & wobbly yesterday & slightly flu-ish this morning.

Quick, quick, where're my Essentials?!!

This is me!

Oh dear..

Watching 11pm news.. More horrid & depressing news! Another plane crash! In Siberia.. Sigh!

Would getting one help?

Woe is me..

From the looks of it, sister is still not ready to get back to work. She's asking me if I could continue to help out at the shop tomorrow.. Just wondering how much more I can take at my end.. Feel like I'm at the verge of breaking down soon.. Rarely feel that way before..

我快被我姐气死了！

I've been very stretched of late.. so much so that these days I lose my temper rather easily. Especially when my sis doesn't behave "normally"! I'm so worried that she might be suffering from early stages of dementia or anorexia..

I was so exasperated by her just now that I actually felt that my blood vessels were about to burst! Was feeling extremely uncomfortable when I went downstairs to buy dinner for her. Everything that she asked for was not available, can you beat that?!! I could feel my heart beating very fast & I was feeling faint. I also started to feel nauseous & my limps got wobbly.. Good grief! These are lousy symptoms. I quickly tried to calm myself before these signs worsen. This is definitely not doing any good to my bp but I think it's a vicious cycle..

Saturation Point

= The level, beyond which any further increase in applied signal strength will cause no further increase in fluxivity.

Yup, think I've reached the point of no return.

黄舒骏

I've just become a fan of 黄舒骏! Just watched him sing 恋爱症候群 on TV's 快乐星期天 & instantly fell in love with it. What a fantastic performance! Was very moved by it's entirety. Can see that he was so 陶醉 when he was singing it & amazingly 一字不漏的唱完整首歌! 真佩服他.. Hmmm.. think I've become very vulnerable these days..

TIRED & STRESSED

I've been busy the entire week. No life of my own & actually have no inclination to have one :( THIS IS PATHETIC! I have no qualms taking care of TWO elderly ladies as long as one of them is not as fussy & nerve-wrecking. Nothing that I do for her seems to be right & it's absolutely frustrating. Everything that she says she wants to eat, after I buy them, she doesn't eat them, saying that they don't taste good or they make her feel like throwing up & she can't swallow!!! FRUSTRATION!

Above that, I still need to do the basic errands & after that rush to man the shop everyday, which is a real boring task. Sometimes I even have to visit the suppliers & money-changers. That'll take up my entire day! & all my other personal matters have to be "put on hold" e.g. had to stop my part-time job, unable to attend any meetings at WIGI, no means of searching for matches for some of my "clients", too tired to call HHs, etc, etc, etc.. By the time I get home, I'm normally EXHAUSTED.

I've never complained so much about my loved ones in my life! Usually my motto is "to serve with love unreservedly & happily". This round, it's really tough on me. No wonder my bp never got better :(

Last night was the only night I have some time of my own cz I was "allowed" to "take the night off" due to my poor health condition ;(
Sigh! Really PATHETIC!

Think I shall try to find some time to rest today. Not even sure if she is well to get back to work tomorrow, & if not, then it's back to another round of stressful-week >:(

PS: I think physically I look like a mad woman now & behaviourally I'm on high-wire. Mentally I'm optimally-stressed, & spiritually I'm down in the dumps.

中庸之道

Confucius' grandson comments about the Way & human nature.

1. The Doctrine of the Mean
2. Golden Mean
3. Happy Medium
4. The Middle Way
5. The Art of Moderation

It's depressing..

Lately, seems that there's plenty of illnesses, accidents, & deaths surrounding me. It's actually rather morbid! This is not good for my wellbeing at all! It's putting me into greater depression..

Have been bringing everyone to hospitals & clinics that I plain forgot that I need to visit my doc as well. Missed my June 29th appt & only realised it this morning when I ran out of medicine. Woahaha.. As usual, my BP didn't drop. Instead, it's shot up. So now it's 150/90 & doc decides to increase my dosage AGAIN!!! This is really depressing. Seems the saying of "what goes up must come down" doesn't apply here. The damage done to my BP is now IRREVERSIBLE :(

CAN I HAVE SOME HAPPY NEWS PLEASE? I NEED TO BRING DOWN MY BP, ELSE WILL 呜呼哀哉 SOON! HAHAHA..

Shocked & Saddened..

Heard from Doris that 2 of our household members passed away. One is Mr Suppiah. He's in his early 60's so at least it's not such a shocker. But the other one is Ms Miskiah. She's a single parent, a very cheerful lady. I used to speak to her & we always laughed & laughed over the phone. She's divorced & looking after her 3 boys. She travels rather frequently so I used to have problems getting an appointment from her. Heard that she died of cancer. She's only in her early 40's.

Sigh! Such is life, again! It's really so unpredictable.

生命是如此的脆弱，为何还要为那些琐碎的事情来斤斤计较呢？ 朋友，珍惜眼前人吧！

Pastor's Saturday SMS

Health attracts wealth. Lost wealth can be recovered through health & wisdom.

新不了情

心若倦了，泪也干了，
这份深情，难舍难了，
曾经拥有，天荒地老，
已不见你，暮暮与朝朝。。

时间走得好慢哟！

Hmmm.. when was the last time I blog? Seems like ages.. Soooo tired these days & the heart is also feeling very "tired" too.. Very melo-drama hor? Find life so meaningless, especially after all the things that's transpired these two months!

我对人性完全失去信心！ 在利字当头的社会里，人性真的变得较为冷漠与无情。 让我感到人情冷暖，与此同时，令我想到一句成语，我爸常说的： “寒天饮冷水，点滴在心头！”

hAPpY biRthDay, sARaH!

A Special Birthday Song for Sarah
HaPpy BIrtHdAY tO yOu
hAppY bIRthDay TO yoU
hapPy BirThdAy To You
HAPPY biRTHDaY to YOU..
HapPy BiRtHdAy To yOU
BaBY dUn fEeL sO bLuE
yEs SO yoU'Re DowN WiTh fLu
We sTilL lOve YoU thRoUgh & tHrouGh..

Chinese zither

錦瑟　　　　　　　　　唐　李商隱

錦瑟無端五十絃　一絃一柱思華年
莊生曉夢迷蝴蝶　望帝春心託杜鵑
滄海月明珠有淚　藍田日暖玉生煙
此情可待成追憶　只是當時已惘然

Pastor's Sat sms

All action without planning is but an exercise in futility.