Funnies (1)
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture near Sydney, Australia, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Amarni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses & YSL tie, leans out the window & asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock & calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop & exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed & the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry &, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer & finally turns to the shepherd & says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals & looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second & then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; & you don't know crap about my business ...... Now give me back my bloody dog."
~ forwarded via email ~
The driver, a young man in a Amarni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses & YSL tie, leans out the window & asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock & calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop & exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed & the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry &, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer & finally turns to the shepherd & says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals & looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second & then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; & you don't know crap about my business ...... Now give me back my bloody dog."
~ forwarded via email ~
posted by blurrblob at 2/03/2007 09:28:00 PM
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